Hello, hello, hello, Steamy peeps.
I just realized I haven’t done a post since November, right after my drunken binge fest of a Thanksgiving.
Which now means that we are in the throes of Christmas prep.
Although here in the US, they have started shoving Christmas down our throats before the Halloween candy is even counted…so I feel like I have been looking at tinsel and listening to John Lennon & Yoko Ono belt out Happy Xmas since October.
Speaking of John Lennon and Yoko Ono…
My best friend has been harassing me about checking my mail for the last couple days.
Every five minutes, “You check your mail, yet?”
I guess he was waiting for me to get his Christmas card before he blasted it all over social media.
So anyway, John Lennon & Yoko.
Ya’ll remember that infamous Rolling Stone cover they did back in the day?
Here, let me help refresh your memory:
BFF and his lady decided to spoof that cover for their Christmas card.
It’s SO indescribable, that all I can do is show you…
….their faces and names are blocked out, though.
After all, this is one of my best friends, and I am not shady enough to blast his name and face all over the interwebs…
Just his ASS.
Can you believe that shit?
This was what I texted him after opening it and witnessing the awesome:
Ell Ohhhhh Ellllllllll…
For those who are dubious, I assure you, I am NOT making ^^^that up.
That is my REAL best guy friend and that is his REAL Christmas card.
*I’ll give you a second to absorb that…
Okay, moving on.
Not only did Sir Handyman and I send them out this year, we even put up some decorations!!
This is a really big deal up in these parts.
I’m a bit of a Scrooge when it comes to Holiday decorating…and seasonal decor of any kind, really.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas.
And parties, of course. Gotta love the holiday
But, when it comes to Christmas ornamentation…
While you see awesome decor and holiday spirit…
…I see cluttered shit that I will just have to clean up in three weeks.
But this year – what with both of us having to work through the holidays and being in a new house – I guess I was feeling the power of the holiday spirit flowin’ through me…
…and I wanted to make sure we actually remembered that it’s was supposed to be “The Best Time of the Year.”
So here you have it folks…our decorated Christmas tree:
Even my babies are enjoying it.
Speaking of me doing things outside of my norm…
I am one of those people that does NOT like to dress up in costume.
I don’t like dressing up for Halloween…
I get anxiety over themed parties…
I don’t even like wearing green on St. Patrick’s Day
– and I fucking dare you to try and pinch me.
So of course some genius decided to make our Christmas party for work one of those Ugly Sweater Christmas dealios.
My initial reaction?
Because not only do I NOT like dressing up…I don’t like sweaters all that much, either.
Polyester and wool blends give me welts.
And I’m too fucking cheap to buy an ugly cashmere sweater that I’m going to wear once.
Luckily though, I found an Etsy store that sells sweatshirt versions.
So here is what I will be wearing:
So, not only am I doing an end run around the “sweater” rule, but I get to pay homage to two of my favorite things:
And the word FUCK.
Now that’s a true holiday gift in my book.
And on that note…
I hope everyone has an amazing weekend and an amazing holiday season – whatever it is you do or don’t celebrate!