STEAMY SharesVal's Shares

Val’s Mid-Week Recap: That Time I Had a Kidney Infection and Was Bitchy About It

What’s up steamy peeps?

As promised, the CUP COUNT: Two glasses of Kim Crawford sauvignon blanc.

Details on the cup count HERE

How is everyone doing?

I myself am doing not so swell.

I have had a kidney infection for going on a month now.

How is that possible, you ask?

Well, I’ll tell you.


Actually, no, although one might think so.

To be honest, I have no idea how I got this being that I’ve never even had a UTI before, but whatevs.

Regardless, I have one and it’s making me bitchy and completely without motivation to write anything remotely interesting here.

That said, I am gong the lazy route and providing you all with a “Get to Know Me” questionnaire.

In case you care. Or are just bored.

So, without further ado…


1) What is your favorite fruit flavor?
Weird question to start, but I’ll bite. I would say my favorite fruit to EAT are blueberries.
Unless it’s the morning. Then I prefer bananas.
Yogurt-wise, I like strawberry.
When it comes to Nyquil though, I prefer cherry.


2) Which two friends can you see together as a couple?
Well, none of you actually know any of my RL friends. So I will use the term “friends” loosely here and say Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling.


3) Which sitcom character do you relate to?
Kalinda Sharma from The Good Wife. I want to be just like her in my real life.


She’s my spirit animal.


4) What was the happiest moment in your life?
I know I should probably say “the day I got married” or “the birth of my first kid,” but nahhhhhh.
I have no idea actually. I’ve had a lot of happy moments in my life, so to label any given one “the happiest” would be ridiculous. So I’ll just “that one time 8 years ago that my skinniest of skinny jeans fit totally perfect.”
Because, shallow.


5) If you knew that this was your last day on earth, how would you spend it?
At home with my husband, watching Law & Order on TV, reading my favorite books during commercial breaks and eating every fucking food I’ve denied myself over the years in my quest to look good in said skinny jeans.


6) Rate all your friends on the basis of their sense of humor on a scale of one to ten (10 being the highest).
This is stupid.



7) If you were granted three wishes, what would you ask for?
Again, I should say “world peace” and “the cure to Cancer and AIDS.”
But I’m not a liar.
So I would say (1) I want to win the lottery and never have to work again. (2) Be able to eat any fucking thing I want and never gain weight. (3) Fuck it, that solves all my problems, so I’ll throw this last one out and say “world peace.”


8) Name one annoying habit of any of your friends’, which you would really like to change?
My dog Sammie. I wish she would stop pissing on the office carpet.


9) What are your pet peeves?
What’s the word count limit on these posts? LOL
Jeez, here are a few…
Reading pet peeves: constant flashbacks, love triangles, the “big misunderstanding” plot, and constant tragedy used to lazily build character.
Regular life peeves: condescension, blue ink, the sound of people chewing or cutting their nails, one-upper and victim personalities, and people who “pretend” to “accidentally” cut in line.


10) Where do you see yourself five years from now?
Pretty much right where I am now. And that’s fine with me.

11) What would you do if you won the lottery?
Quit my job, buy my dad a house and a personal chef, and start a dog rescue.


12) If you were born a boy, how would things have turned out for you?
Who knows…but I’d immediately have sex to find out what it feels like on the “penetrator” end.


13) Would you be brave enough to spend an entire hour alone in a cemetery?
I guess I’m pretty fucking brave, because I’ve done this already.
These questions are really stupid.
I’ll have to do better and actually read these things before choosing next time.


14) What is the one thing you wish you could do if given the chance?
Visit every country I want to see.

15) Do you believe that there is life beyond our planet?
Like aliens? Sure. Why not.


16) Got a phobia you want to share?
Nope. Not that I want to share LOL.


17) What is the weirdest thing you’ve ever done?
I’m pretty fucking weird, so this could be hard to assess.


18) If you could be anyone, who would you be?
Margot Robbie. She’s fucking hot and I want to look like her in my next life.


18) What is your favorite thing about me?

19) How long can you hold your breath?
Hold on…
(about a minute later)
About a minute.

20) If you were stranded on an island, what are the three most important things that you think you would need?
Since it said “things” and not people…My kindle, WIFI, and an unlimited supply of toiletries.

21) Have you ever tried bungee jumping or paragliding?
FUCK no.

22) How do you think the world is going to end? In flames or an ice age?
I think we will all kill each other.


23) Do you believe that the end of the world is looming in the year 2012?
LOL wow, I really do need to read these through next time.
I’m gonna go on a limb and say NO. lol

24) What is your definition of an incredible weekend?
Hanging out with my husband and my dogs and never changing out of my pajamas.


25) Ever experiment with drugs? If yes, which ones?
I plead the 5th.

26) What are the five things you cannot do without?
Kindle, cell phone, coffee, chapstick, treadmill.

27) Give us an idea of your hopes and dreams.
I hope next week that I have nothing planned and can spend a day doing jack shit, in my house…in my pajamas.
What can I say, I am a dreamer.


28) What is your favorite day of the week?
Right now I work weekends. So I will say Tuesday.

29) Are you a cat/dog person?
This is a poorly worded question. Yes I am a “cat/dog” person, but I prefer dogs.


30) If you had to choose between world domination or world peace, which one would you pick?
World peace. World domination sounds ambitious. And tiring.

31) What is your favorite breakfast meal?
Normally? Oatmeal.
If I am saying fuck it? Waffles with an ungodly amount of butter.

32) Who or what inspires you?
The news. It inspires me to turn off my TV and read fiction.

33) What is your favorite color and why?
I guess teal. Because I like it…

34) If you could live on any other planet, which one would it be?
*side eye*
For shits and grins, I’ll say Saturn. Maybe the ring doubles as a roller coaster slide.


That was lame.
But I feel pretty lame, so there you have it folks. LOL

Hope everyone is having a better week than me and I’ll see you on the flip side.