4 – 4.5 Smut Scale Stars
Before I get started, I should let you all know that I am having internet problems today.
I had to uninstall/reinstall shit, upgrade my browser, and a lot of other techy nonsense I don’t really understand.
What this means, in short, is that I lost and re-wrote this review…
I have a confession to make.
And lemme tell you.
This shit got more shiteous every time I attempted to re-write what I wrote.
And I give up.
So here is the lackluster, shitty review for this awesome slice of smutty erotic goodness. Don’t let my craptastic review take away from what was a fun little slice of smut heaven.
That said, I have another confession to make.
In the time between getting this ARC and actually reading this ARC…I had completely forgotten what the hell this book was even about.
So when homie-blog-boss-Maria reminded me that I was supposed to have read and reviewed this thing by TODAY, I knew I had better…read and review this thing.
Thus, being that I was in a bit of a hurry, I didn’t re-acquaint myself with the blurb before cracking it open.
Meaning I had no idea what the fuck this thing was about.
And you know what?
I had a great fucking time as a result.
This thing was seriously scrumptious.
I wanted to eat it.
Much like this poor child:
Bless her heart.
And I feel like going in blind made it even better for me.
In fact I would recommend that you go into this one a little blind too. Reading any spoilers on this one will kind of lessen the experience, in my opinion.
This was my first read by this author and I look forward to checking out more of her stuff.
So imagine my excitement when I realized I already have another ARC from her on deck?
The waitress delivers my order, side-stepping Pippa sprawled by my feet.
I pick up the teapot. A rumble vibrates beside us. The teacup rattles on the saucer. A waft of exhausts hits me mid-inhalation. I choke, setting down the teapot to straighten the cup.
A giant blue pickup pulls in front of the tea house, blocking the quaint town view. Excellent. I wave in front of my face, clearing the last of the fumes, then fill the teacup.
What kind of asshole parks—
The door opens. I set the teapot down with a clunk. That kind. My pulse skips. Clarke emerges from the pickup.
Then the other one, Luke, climbs from the passenger side.
Luke, who saw me naked in the fucking forest.
My breath catches, this time nothing to do with fumes and everything to do with them.
Two hunters here among pastries and teacups and I’m still not sure, yet, if civilization takes me off the menu.
Clarke turns, his attention coming to land on me. He smiles, tight-lipped, and one-sided, and completely of the devil. My chest somersaults. Luke looks at me. He brushes his thumb under his bottom lip like he’s just eaten—or is about to.
A rumble fills my belly, making my hand fly to my stomach.
The table jerks to the side as Pippa lunges toward the men. Her bark snaps.
I grab on to the table top, holding it down. “Settle, Pippa.”
She strains her leash, her bark a series of high sharp shouts. The table slides another two inches. I hold on as best I can, given Pippa weighs not much less than me.
The table tips.
“Sit.” The deep command rings out.
The table falls back into place with a rattle. Pippa drops, lying flat to the ground, face right between her paws, as low as she can get.
I pant, then look up at Clarke standing beside my table. His devilish expression spreads to his eyes. Why? I grip the edge of my seat, then look down in horror. I dropped down to sit just like Pip. Yes, I did. He could’ve just as well have barked the command at me, given how well I obeyed him.
“That’s a good girl,” he says, and bends.
...continue reading excerpt Wait, what me? Nope, not hardly, but right now I almost want to be.
He reaches toward Pippa.
Alarm blasts through me. She’s my dog and I don’t want her confused as to what side she’s supposed to be on. “Wait—”
He scratches the top of her head, ignoring my protest.
She accepts his touch as though she’s been drugged into submission. Luke comes to crouch beside Clarke, and pats Pippa’s back. Great. Now they’re all best freaking buddies. She’ll probably follow them home and forget I exist. I glance between them. Luke whispers something to her under his breath. Hell, maybe I’m wrong about them.
I’ve found people who are nice to animals are generally nice to people, as well.
Pippa rolls over, wrapping herself in her lead. Little whore. Not that I blame her, with all that attention and their big hands all over her. I’m suddenly a little jealous of my dog.
Maybe they’re not that bad. Maybe they just take trespassing really seriously.
“Husband joining you?”
My mouth opens. That’s right, my husband. My tongue flicks out. He stares at me, and that look he has on him…he’s one-hundred percent evil, and oh so smug. Like he knows there’s no man here with me, coming for me, or joining me.
Attraction pulses thick, making my mouth water. Now who’s a whore? I want to feel guiltier than this, but I can’t.
“Why do you think that?” The question is better than the possible responses, such as, “Actually I’m all alone and you’ve seduced my only companion.”
“You have two pastries on your table.”
I glance at the scattered food. One of the pastries has departed the plate. Yes, there are. I ordered two Danishes right off the bat without even seeing if one would do. Disobeyed instructions. Was greedy.
I clear my throat. “I like having two of a good thing.”
Luke straightens to standing. There’s something too intense about him. He still hasn’t said a word, but the way his attention hones in so sharply on me now, is bolder than anything I’ve ever been told. It’s a knife through butter.
“Do you?” Clarke’s voice is huskier than before. I look back at him and reexamine what I just said.
I like having two of a good thing.
My blood goes combustible because now I’m picturing two of a good thing. I’m picturing being the soft apple center in their man-pastry.
I’m picturing things a decent woman would never dream of.
I clear my throat, and reach for the tea.
Clarke stands, and the two of them take a nearby table, taunting me with an image I can’t forget.
Two of a bad, bad thing.
About the Author:
After spending years imagining fictional adventures, Amber finally found a way to turn daydreaming into a productive habit. She now spends her time in a coffee-fuelled adrenaline haze, writing romance with a thriller edge.
She lives with her husband and children in semi-rural Australia, where if she peers outside at the right moment she might just see a kangaroo bounce by.
Amber is an award winning writer, Amazon Bestselling Author, and member of Romance Writers of Australia, Melbourne Romance Writers Guild, and Writers Victoria.
Wait, what me? Nope, not hardly, but right now I almost want to be.