We have a new guest in our house!
It’s a bug! THE DREADED STOMACH BUG.
Yeah, I know there will be some of you laughing. Because you’ve probably recently dealt with this too.
So it makes you feel better you’re not the only one dealing with this shitty problem.
But damn it all to hell, this shit spreads like fire!
And I feel bad because I was the first one to get sick and I didn’t even realize it.
How can you get sick and not know about it, you might ask?
You know how sometimes your hubs catches a common cold?
And then proceeds to bitch & moan like he’s about to die?
…while asking you for drugs, ways to measure his fever, tissues and a way to contact his lawyer in order to finalize his will?
Yeah. So I can’t help it, I always make fun of hubs when he gets sick.
It’s an ongoing joke between us, really.
So when, on the weekend, while strolling through IKEA, I get a horrible migraine, he looks at me funny.
And he doesn’t say it but it almost feel like he’s saying it.
Because we’re looking for furniture, you see?
At that point I just really want to bitch and moan to someone and I would totally do so IF…
if my fucking phone didn’t just crap out on me. And by crap out I mean kaput.
So here I am, phone-less. Which is basically equivalent to having a non-functioning limb.
The day just keeps getting better!
So 3 hours later we’re on the drive home and I’m passed out in the car because my migraine is so bad I want to DIE.
Only to be woken up to go to a different furniture store.
Cuz it was on the way.
And it really has what we need.
An hour and two new kid beds purchases later we are FINALLY done.
Upon arriving home I promptly drag myself to swallow as much ibuprofen as needed to kill me.
While telling my kids to SHUT THE FUCK UP in nicer terms.
Has anyone noticed that their kids are always the loudest? Or is it that we’re only tuned to hear our own offspring?
Why do they always have to talk so loudly anyways?
So yeah, anywhoo. I change myself and I realize I can’t really move all that well because my stomach hurts so fucking bad my eyes are watering.
So I cry a little.
But then I try to convince myself that it’s just a bad case of cramps.
I am pretty sure that no men are reading this, so here goes.
I’m just THAT lucky. Because it is also that time of month.
My hubs then sees me in this state and says one magic word:
And so I do, for, like, 12 hours straight.
The next day is better but I still have the same symptoms.
So how do I find out that it was, in fact, a stomach bug?
Well, after one of my kids complains of the same tummy pain and proceeds to throw up all over the floor.
And now I’m just waiting for my second child to catch it. Because chances are…
So this, actually, taught me a valuable lesson.
Not to dismiss my pain.
Sometimes when you’re in pain it doesn’t mean that it’s PMS, a case of laziness, misaligned stars or a god damn vernal equinox!
It just means you’re fucking sick!