So I finally decided on 4 strong Stars….
…Three of them are all for my homie, Cher.
Seriously though, outside of Josephine from [book:The Will|20603820] (whom I personally loved, but I know a lot of peeps didn’t) Cher is the only heroine who isn’t basically interchangeable with every other KA heroine out there.
Which gets kind of old, honestly.
Furthermore, not to sound ridiculously vain or conceited – because I’m not – but Cher reminded me a lot of myself.
So obviously I dug her.
And, outside of the whole having a kid and actually cooking stuff, *shudder of revulsion* she and I could be twinsies.
1) Cher lives in tanks/jeans/high heels and hates to shop.
Holy. Shit. ^^^This times a million Homie-Cher.
I fucking loathe shopping.
Except for shoes, bitches. Shoes don’t count.
I will knock OVER a shoe store in my quest for a new pair of heels/platforms/espadrilles/booties/sandals that look…almost exactly like a pair of heels/platforms/espadrilles/booties/sandals that I already own.
But I would rather mops floors, do laundry, or just fucking flog myself than go to the mall.
Mostly because I hate people.
In large groups.
In the presence of escalators and large glass railings.
2) Even though Cher hates to shop and doesn’t like a lot of girly shit, per se…she KILLS it in the makeup department.
What a co-winkydink…
I may leave the house looking like a skanky train wreck from the neck down with my basic wardrobe and even more basic hairdo…
But I WILL do it looking like I just left the M.A.C. Store.
I’d like to see you try.
Because I will defend my M.A.C./BBrown/Lancome/Dior/Urban Decay/Smashbox stash with physical violence when required.
The hub cap even knows to avoid certain “locations” on the roadway.
Because it distracts me from any current goals and destination.
Anymascara, moving on…
3) Cher can talk FOOTBALL.
Be still my beating heart.
I think it’s fitting this book came out in September.
4) Cher cusses.
Says “What’s up bitches” when she sees her girl friends.
And has a LOT of dude friends she calls “Brah.”
And mother fucking CHECK.
And finally, perhaps my most favorite makes-me-wanna-high-five-her-and-be-BBF’s-forever thing about Cher – Aside from her only using the word “HONEY” approximately three times, thank FUCK?
5) Homie-Cher is down with MY homies, Janis Joplin, Van Morrison, and other Classic Rock GENIUSES.
I mean, Jaysus, Merry even gave a shout out to Jefferson Airplane.
My heart can’t even take it, people.
Classic Rock and 60’s/70’s protest music is my freakin’ favorite.
I am only in my 30’s, but I was raised by a former pothead hippie.
Homie knows her music.
In fact, when I met my husband, and he DIDN’T KNOW who Jimi FUCKING Hendrix was?
It was almost a deal breaker.
Luckily, he has since been educated.
But I digress.
Now, what about that final, fourth star, you ask?
That bad boy is dedicated to Cher and Merry’s first sex scene.
Because HOLY. SHIT.
Let’s just say it got this pussy cat’s motor running.
For serio though, that was probably one of the hottest scenes I’ve read I’m a looooooong time.
And that’s really saying something.
In fact, this book is worth reading for just that scene alone.
Other than that, this was pretty standard KA – in a GREAT way – not in a Wild and Free way, and I really enjoyed it.
Updated 9/6/15 to add: I see that the epilogue was a huge hit with a lot of people…and I did enjoy it, absolutely.
However, it didn’t blow me out of the water like it seemed to do for everyone else.
So I’m kinda bummed for myself, actually lol. I feel like I missed something and am that pathetic lonely kid on the playground who didn’t get the party invite.
But oh well.
Can’t win them all and I’m just thrilled it cranked everyone else’s tractor.
And on that note…