All the Stars
So you know those books that have you all like this?
Those books that you are so into that you get irrationally pissed off when your co-worker rudely tries to talk to you about work stuff – as if! – when you are obviously reading?
Those books that make you sit in the locker room at work – way after work is legit over and you should legit be on the freeway home, but you can’t read on the freeway – well…not efficiently anyway…J/K folks, distracted driving is bad.
Anyway, as I was saying, you know those books?
Those un-putdownable books?
This book was NOT one of them.
I kid, I kid.
Because it totally fucking was.
For me at least.
For serious, I loved this thing hard and I shall count the reasons why.
However, I must say first, that this book is NOT perfect by any means. And even though I am totally about to fangirl and gush over this thing like a 13-year old at a 2008 Justin Bieber concert, I want to make it clear that I KNOW some of my friends won’t love this thing like I did.
-There are a few convenient coincidences.
-The time frame jumps around a lot (and I am usually one of those people that HATES time jumps and flashbacks).
-And, not gonna lie, the ending flagged a little bit…
But you know what?
That’s how much I loved Jake.
Speaking of Jake.
Shit I Loved About this Book #1: JAKE
Holy hell, this man pushed all my buttons.
He was an emotionally remote Alpha grammar-Nazi and I want to marry him in my next fictional life.
Also, he was a TOTAL asshole to the nth degree.
Now, before we get any further, let’s have a ‘lil tangent right here.
Cause I have a secret.
I have multiple personalities.
Yep, that’s right.
In my head, there is me, Plain Old Val.
And then there is another Val…
An evil Val…we shall dub her Mal…which, conveniently, rhymes with Val and also means “bad.”
And Mal is a fucking ASSHOLE.
That’s right folks.
There is a constant battle going on in my head between Val and Mal, and Mal’s first response to EVERYTHING is always sarcastic, rude, crass, heartless, and/or completely without sympathy or empathy.
And let me tell you…as many of you might have noticed…Homie-Mal kicks Val’s ass in the Response Wars at least 50% of the time.
Cause home girl works out. And she be strong.
Now, lemme explain why this is
Here are a few Jake quotes for your perusal:
“‘It’s now seven thirty and the reason we insisted you join us an hour early is because we wanted you to have time to read over some of our new policies. We insisted.’
‘No, you suggested. Two completely different terms with two completely different expectations.'”
“‘That’s not what I mean Jake! There’s something between us. Something real… And I just…’
‘Are your ellipses (…) implying something significant or do you just enjoy abusing grammar for no reason?'”
“‘I’m searching for the point of this conversation, since it’s clearly not going to fall out of your mouth anytime soon.’
Her jaw dropped.
‘Is it attempting to come out now?'”
Mal is in love, people.
Seriously though, Jake is her soulmate and she wants to crawl inside him and breath in his essence on a molecular level for all eternity.
Shit I Loved About this Book #2: The Sexual Tension
The sexual tension and connection between Jake and Gillian was some of the best I’ve ever read. And from page one, I was like this:
And for the remaining pages?
And the banter between him and Gillian?
To die for.
Now, like I said earlier, there WERE some things I didn’t totally love about the book.
I didn’t like the way the ending unfolded, especially surrounding some of Gillian’s later actions.
Also, the “resolution” happened a little too abruptly for my taste and there were few too many convenient coincidences that some people might not jive with.
But like I said, I don’t care.
I’m rating this 5 stars because I just loved Jake, the banter between him and Gillian, and the connection they shared so much that this book has landed on my eternal re-read list for those things alone.
So this was a huge win in my book and I’m looking forward to reading more AKA everything else this author has ever written.
Holy plane peanuts, Batman, this was the most un-putdownable book I’ve read in quite a tick. The last 20% or so…descended a bit (check out my ellipses(…)), I must say, but home don’t currrrrrr…
I fucking LOVED Jake. Seriously, he was a grammatically correct asshole of epic proportions and I could not adore him more than I do.
Full review to come…(ellipses!!!)